a little icecream and a lot of love

By about dinner time with Tyler being on call two of the last three nights, I kind of started having a mini panic attack. This is just the beginning of nights without Tyler. For the next couple years this will be something we will just have to get used to. I know that, I've been ready for it and tried to prepare for it! But thats not really what was getting me. Here I am tired from chasing around Caleb all day and I'm thinking to myself we are about to throw another little one into this equation. Right as Tyler is about to really start getting crazy at work, Caleb is full of life and crazier than ever and we are going to throw another baby into the mix. So after watching Caleb play in the tub and planning it out in my head (Tues and Thurs Caleb's going to be at school/ PDO, zoo, children's museum storytime... we can do it pep talk) I prayed about it and just told God I was going to leave it all in his hands because I know I can not do this without Him. Then I packed up my little man and we treated ourselves to TCBY!!! Pitty party/ mini freak out averted! Then we had an amazing night! The Lord just really calmed my nerves and filled my heart with so much love for my little man that I knew thats what was going to get me through it. Despite the crazy times throughout the day (spilling red stuff all over the carpet first thing in the morning, making himself throw up all over himself and his carseat, crazy fits over absolutely nothing at all...), it all just gets erased when he gives me that big grin, a great big hug, a slobbery wet kiss, or replies I love you when I tell him how much I love him. So tonight we shared icecream, cuddled up and read books, laughed until we were red in the face, hugged and kissed, and proved to my nervous heart that things will get crazy but these little moments and strength from Above are what's going to get us through!